THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 13 · 1 year ago

Build an UNBREAKABLE Family Unit that Stands the Test of Time


In today's LIVE episode we discuss building clear culture and values in your family (just as we do in our companies), and how this simple act creates rich, fertile soil where everyone grows to their potential.

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#family #thepursuit #legacy

Hey, what's up, going getters? Welcome to the episode of the pursuit. We help you awaken your potential, achieve your dreams and leave a legacy you'll be proud of. Listen, we got a really cool one today. This one's comeing from the heart. Today we're talking about family. We're talking about family values and how to take the culture, the mission that you build in your company and that seemed passion build culture and values in your home. So, if you're new to the pursuit, welcome. Hi, my name is Patrick Kerwhen. I'm a life coach, fader a legacy life and creator of the life by design courses over at Patrick Kerwhencom now, whether you're listening live, welcome. I'm glad you're here, or listening on our companion podcast or even watching US recorded listen. I'm just glad you're here. It just so happens we go live every Sunday at nine am Pacific, twelve new NISORT. So please get us the like, join us and join our community. Hit and subscribe. If you're not, need to make sure hit that bell so you notified of any future content that we post. Our guys, as we begin every single week, before we get in today's main topic. Let's get into some good. Let's find some good in the world with our inspiring story of the week. All right, so what I'm want to see this one up for you because this one definitely hit me in the fields. It showed me how generous we can be when you have a company, business that values its people and don't asn't see them as just employees but members of their team, members of their family. They treat them accordingly. So I want... share the story with you. I found this one on facebook. This is check us out. I found this one on gold cast originally. Then I found the original post. COUNDO owners bring a furloughed cleaning lady to tears by revealing that they got her the penthouse. So I'm going to skip ahead to the end of the story here. This woman was without a job and because business was bad and stuff was going on due to Covid as you imagine, and just to look, her name is rose. I'm just going to highlight some parts in the story here. If you're listening on the PODCAST, just follow follow the sultry sounds of my voice here. So it says, after working at the same New York Condo for twenty years. She was furlowed and had to move and with her sisters she didn't have a home to live in. The residence of the luxury condo got together and bought her too full years of residency, and I want to play for you the clip of when they told her so, just to kind of at the stage, just kind of long clips. I'm going to skip into it. But these guys are walking here through. She's she thinks she's there to clean the place. She's walking around, she's like, oh my gosh, it's so beautiful. This whole time these two guys know they're about to handle the keys, but she has no ideas. Let me play you a little clip here. I think the audio is being a little choppy, so I apologize. So I'll just kind of give you the visual to hear. So here she is walking through. They're walking through the the terrorist. They're walking through out of the beautiful rooms, the kitchen, and his guy says your family's been through a lot. She's standing there and I'm so sorry that the audio is being choppy right now, but I just want to cut to her reaction. She's like no, and then she's just puts her hand over face, starts crying and touched her on the shoulder. It's listen, I don't I think you guys get the gist of the story. When we as Pumans, as people, operate... act from place of our own values, whether it be personal values company values, we use that as a filter to make positive decisions in the world old. So that got me thinking, as those in this video well, something that I do in our household. My wife and I do this, and I've already gotten several requests to talk about this. So I'm just going to throw it out there. I'm just going to pull the curtain little back and share something with you, and my goal is to help you build today, live on this call, if you're willing to do it, some core family values that you're going to use to impact yourself, your spouse, your children, if you have children, pets, just somewhat people, friends that you love. So let me let me put start with some principles here. I'm going to start with some values of my own and I'm a share my family values with you with the hope that inspires you to create your own culture and and rules and philosophies within your own home. And here's the the guiding reason behind all this. Okay, we need to work on ourselves. It's not just that we rise to the level of our personal development per an a personal and professional and business level. But this is something that I've learned painfully and honestly, and that is we don't just pass on our genes to people we love and our children. We pass on our attitudes, we pass on our strengths and our weaknesses, but really what the joy we get to pass on is our soul, in our spirit, and it just so have weapons to how we see ourselves, how we view others, how we view the world and our reason for being in the life we pass that on to so it's important that we become very intentional with the kind of fertile soil that we're planting ourselves and our children and our loved ones in. And if we're intentional...

...with that fertile soil or create fertile soil, it influences the fruit that they bear. So today we're going to help you create clear family values that not only have help you pass on a legacy that you're proud of, but also create unbreakable bonds between everyone in your household. So let'm just going to share this with you, jump right into my screen here now, this so happens. Is something that I have. We called the Kurwin family creed a usually went through many names and iterations. Used to be called the Curwin family constitution. Whatever. The point is is that this is on it's framed and on our wall, on our house. If you're the kind of person that you run your business with intentionality, you've got brand documents, you've got values statements, mission statements. I'm going to challenge you now, right here on this call, to think of your family in the same way. Now, I understand that that maybe what I'm saying right now is a little biased, a little targeted towards the specific group of people. If you are married and you have kids, are not married, you have kids, or just dating someone, or two dogs, whatever your situation is, I think we all have a place to start creating the environment in which we can thrive and other people can thrive as well. So here, that's that's my attention today. So I'm going to give you the story about how I created mine, with the hope that it inspires you to create your. So I see you've got a few folks in the call hi, welcome. If you want to say hi in the chat, I'd love to hear from you. I hopefully my chats are working this time. I think I worked out all the gigs, so let me. Let me share this with you. Here's it. Here's the family values again. It starts off now we course, I get all my notes here. Too many windows, Patrick. All right, it starts off with and you can get as fancy with this or is simple. What this as you want. Listen, you can create a piece of paper to just right on Napkin. I don't care what you do. You do you. I'm a little fancy. So of course I got to create it and I got to put some graphics on it and stuff like that. But here's my three core values, as simple as it is. Family First, before business,...

...before anything else. Family First. That's one of the core values in our household. Number two, be your best. So be your best means it's a value of personal growth. It's a value of personal development, and this is something that I want to make sure that everyone is there. In fact, I got my son, William. I'm the line. Hey, William, thanks for jumping in and say hi. You're dad talking to you now about our own family values, which, if I've done a good job, you already know these family values. So and the lastly is live on purpose. And these are all about and I'll go through these. I don't skimming through, I'm showing you the document, if you're watching on the youtubes, in the videos, if you listen on the podcast get just follow along with me here. Three core values family. First, be your best. Live on purpose. Now I'm going to come back here for a second. So how you start to create these values? And I've learned this with creating values for myself and my own company, helping other companies do the same thing, whether it's building a brand or whatever you're doing. But I've also coached, is, you imagine, a lot of people towards living very intentionally and with purpose and on purpose. So want you to think about for a second. Just says, a beginning exercise. If you want to do this, okay, if this is something you take seriously, you want to dive into this, let's dive into this. So it all begins with simply thinking about this question. Won't you ask yourself this question? What matters to me? Think about your life experiences, think about the lessons you've learned, think about the things that really have stuck out to you and you and your life, something you operate by, something you want to pass on to the next generation, that you believe will inspire them and point them in the right direction. But these aren't just for you. These, I means, these aren't just for your children or, if people you live with. This is for you. This is something that help you held your sold yourself to a very high standard of accountability. Now, for me, my first value is I wrote,...

...and then I'll seat you how to write what goes underneath it. But let's just shut up with the tenzero foot view values first, okay, and I would say no more five at the most. You think, Patre, I can think of twenty. Great, but if people can't remember it, then you can't transmit it. Simplicity is genius and this regard, aim for three to five Max. You'd get sense yourself on this one. Okay, my first one family. First comes from my experiences, comes from my story. I'm probably eleven years old and this is when I first learned this. Okay, my mother and her family are first generation Lebanese, so Arabic descent and you can imagine how strong family units are in that particular culture. Read a friend's house down the block and I'm the older brother and I have a younger brother, David, and he's being teased and it's just young kids. They tease each other these stuff like that. Man, I still feel guilty about this. David, if you watching this, I'm so sorry. I know we were kids at the time. I was going to say sorry again. These are a teasing him and instead of defending my brother, I jumped in and he went home crying and I'll never forget the look on my mother's face when I came home. She looked at me with such disappointment and she said something to me I didn't understand at the time, but she said, Patrick, and dramatic pause, blood is thicker than water. Of course I had no idea what that meant, but over time I came to understand that what this really means is family first. You've got to prioritize your family. There's so many distractions in the world, so many things are going to pull us and our business and relationships in our life and are just our pursuit of just finding calm and center. We can easily forget what matters most to us. So this is about prioritizing, not just creating values. What this allows... to do is create an unbreakable family unit, because you guys are brilled building this thing together and growing together towards a common goal or culture. So family first. That's where that came from. My second one and I can I only share this with you because I want to inspire you once you start thinking about this. The question that it's not hopefully's on your heart right now is what are what are my values? What are my core values? What do I stand for? What am I willing to take a stand for? You got me, okay. Number two is be your best. Now, for me, be your best in this regard. I'm not going to show you the screen again here, you can see there's a little phrases underneath. Again, I'll come back to that in a minute. But be your best for me is part of Katie, my wife, Katie, and eyes values of personal development and growth and we just believe that if you live your life with intentionality, to try to always aim for your next level, that next best self, that you could always have something to strive for, always have something to look forward to. In life then only fills your heart and feelings your soul, but it directs your life with purpose. So we believe and our hope Sol that's important that we be our best, we hold each other accountable to be our best, that we always asking each other for more, because we have more to give than maybe we often think we do. And that's why this value is so there and so close. Now this third one should be no surprise to anyone who's listening to me speak or talk to coach Ra thing for years. Everything we do here at like Youc life is about living on purpose. Of course that's had to make it into the family values. And this is about our one life. And what are we going to do with that one? Like what are you going to do with your one life? And so this is about making the most of it. And unfortunately, fortunately, unfortunately, I learned this lesson, I'm sure you've learned yours, differently. It was sophomore year high school and the first time that I...

...ever talk much or got close to death. And I'm not going to say his name because I want to keep you the respect the privacy the family, but one of our classmates died. He hung himself and it was a terrible tragedy and I'd never seen death up that close before and I remember going to the funeral and just the sounds of his mother sobbing and Oh it was. It shook something up in me. And then, of course, years go by and you know, life and death touches us all and losing loved ones and pets and friends and it life. If Life taught me anything, is that we're on borrowed time. And if we're on borrowed time, and this is a not a I'm not immortal like it's, you know, whatever was borrowed must be returned and all of physics and everything like that, then I need to make sure that I'm living my best life. and Are you living your best life? So here's what we're going to do. I want you to start to think again, if you just have your phone with you, if you're driving, don't do this while you're driving, but just start to ask yourself this question. What are my core values? Maybe it's just one word at this point. It's just about the beginning points. Once you start thinking about this and how to bring this into your build the same culture you build in your business, and values and mission start to bring that into your home and the end of this I'm going to call you to frame this thing, whether it's again, but it's on a Napkin or whatever. Just get it started, get it going after you've got your statement. Okay, so for me it's family first and want to go back to the share screens. You can see I'm talking again. If you're listening on the podcast, just maybe this is one of those videos you should just go watch on youtube or facebook or twitter, wherever we're broadcast, all the places were broadcasting right now. I have a couple of them here. I'm just going to rattle these off to you just case it inspires you. The every time you read a one liner, every it's an idea, it's a principle, it's and Ismm...

...whatever you want to call it. Underneath that should be some sort of descriptive paragraph or descriptive sentence. Just a few or the way I did it was just kind of bullet points right phrases that kind of align with the top stays under family first. I have stay close, stay connected, seek first to understand before being understood. This is a big one for me. Speak with kindness. If you're if you're a parent, you know that sometimes your kids drive you crazy, sometimes your maybe your spouse, drives you crazy. This value of always speaking with kindness is going to push you to another level of growth, and trust me on this one. Your word is your bond. is about keeping your promises. So now I've got family first, value, promises, kindness, trying to seeking to understand and making sure you prioritize family, staying close, staying connected. So I think you can start to see how this starts to build out. You build a core value or principle and underneath that you describe in behavior what that what does that look like? What does that Beh how does that going to show up, or how do I want that to show up in the world? This is for you more I probably say it is for anyone else, because I'm gonna go back to where I started. We all modeled each other. We're all products of our environment. We need to create a rich, fertile soil on our families and our family units. That bring us together, that bring us closer together, and I cannot think of something more important of how we could spend our time then spending ten minutes of investment and building some core values, something you all connect with a line, with hold each other accountable to for growth, for spiritual growth, personal to growth, because the seeds we plant and ourselves and our children and our friends and our loved ones, they grow and they bear fruit and then they pass it on to the next generation. And that's how legacy works. So, if you're hearing me at all, this is about building...

...intentional legacy. Okay, you hear me on this one, intentional legacies. I've got two more on this, but I'm not going to you know, I'll just run these through real quick. Okay, be your best. Here's a couple on my list. I'm curious what ends up on yours. If you want to come below, let me know. Under be your best, own your emotions, nourish your mind, body and spirit. Hey, failures, just feedback and never give up. Keep on going. Live on purpose. Okay, make each day your masterpiece. Think big, start small, because that's that's my inter entrepreneur coming out with that one. You become who you surround yourself with. And this one I got from my dad as one the last things he said to me before we pass from cancer. He woke up. You One. All of these things together. I hope you see that it's part of my story. But more important to me, what's your story? How has the bumps and the bruises of your life now equit you to create something beautiful, something meaningful, that you can pass on to the people you care about? So here's my challenge to you. Piece of paper, Napkin, whatever, go five Max, I probably say minimum, two or three. Create some statements of values and underneath that a little descriptive paragraph of the behaviors. How do you want us that show up? What does that look like? So people can listen to it, understand it, follow it and Co create it with you. And hopefully this is something if you're married, if your spouse to something you create with them and with each other. So it's Sunday, happy Sunday. Hope this is inspired your day, got you get your gears going, got you thinking a little bit and I'm excited for how this might turn up. So, if you're watching this, recorded, whatever, comment below, let me know. Maybe what are one of the core values that you came up with? I'd be interested to see...

...if any of them align with mine. Please, for you to steal, borrow, run with anything, I give it. I'm sorry, I've steal and borrowed it from fifteen million other sources, but I hope that you begin to leave plant those seeds and leave those legacies that I know will live outlive you and beyond. So, Hey, thanks for tuning in for another episode of the pursuit. I hope this inspires your week and until we meet again, made the fire within lead the happiest heights and the road you travel blind with lights. We'll see you next time.

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