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THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 25 · 1 year ago

4 Tips to Overcome IMPOSTER SYNDROME, Build Confidence, and Become All You Are Meant to Be

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's LIVE episode we discuss why 70% of the high achievers and business owners struggle with imposter syndrome, and 4 tips of how to overcome it.  

Hey, hey, go getters, welcome back to another episode of the pursuit. We go live every week to give you guys the big ideas need to grow yourself, your business and your impact. Listen, today we're talking about how to get past the forces that stop you from living your boldest, most beautiful life. Or can we talking about imposter syndrome? Or you talking about self doubt? And this isn't just affect people who are on the bench. This affects high achievers probably even more, because we're always comparing yourself to other people. So, if that's you, you got a lot amazing things going on. Listen. You want to stay connected to every single time we go live, make your hit that like button. Subscribe to the channel. F you're on to Youtube, make sure to get that bell to be notified of any future content. I'm here with with. Well, I'm Patrick, hi, I'm Katie. That's okay, okay, and we just want to make sure you guys say hell. So, whether you're watching us live, whether you watch this in the recording, if you're catching us on Youtube, on Linkedin, on facebook or listening on our companion podcast, however you found yourself here, Hey, we're just glad that you end up here on this lovely Sunday. Speak. Speaking of lovely Sundays, something happened. Something happened today. What does happened about five minutes ago, makes us a little late for this broadcast. Always Nice to get some good news right before you go live. On the video I have US letting the dogs in and our beast dog, hug I see him. He's out there chewing a stick. He's lots of times chewing a stick. Sometimes he pulls a branch off a Bush or a tree or whatever. You know, we got a lot of trees back there. It's fine, it's fine, so he said, having a grand old time running around this thing, and I don't notice what it is until I see that he's ripped off the top of one of our Japanese Maples, which I've been carefully growing for two years now. It's to stick. It's just a stick. We're gonna so that's cool. We're going to change today's title and stop talking about living your best life. That I had not to kill your dogs. That's going to be the topic today. So, as we talked about this topic today, you guys, what I would like from you, guys, is join into the discussion. Put in the comments below your thoughts on this. If you've overcome it, we want to know how you guys have done it so that we can add your wisdom to the conversation. So let's let's just be getting here with a simple premise. What's going on in the world? Why is this word imposter syndrome such a big buzz word? If you haven't been aware of it, it's going all over the Internet right now and it's been for probably a good year. And let's just begin with a definition of what this thing is and really why we should even be concerned about it. Whether you're on a business or you're thinking of leaving your current job because of the crazy, you know, world that we live in right now, you want to start that new career, whatever you thinking, let's talk about want to be holding some of great and beautiful talent from showing up in the world the way that it's really meant to. Katie, I don't you're not webster, you're not a dictionary, but if you had...

...to come up with a phrase like what are we talk about here? What is impostor imposter syndrome? Is the feeling that a person has when they are doing something but they feel like they're not quite qualified or they're pretending, they're playing a role and by doing that they feel like they're an impostor not like a true leader. You see it a lot and social media people saying this like influencers, but it actually applies to like regular folks, to like us. You're in it. You end up in a role where you think, oh my Gosh, how am I possibly going to do this? I am not qualified. Why are people trusting me to do this? And so you feel like an impostor, HMM, in it. To go a little deeper, it also affects people, again, not just on the bed, not people who are watching other people do it, pursue the dreams, and so it facts people on literally both ends of the spectrum. Some folks are like Hey, listen, I want to do this thing, but it's a hesitance to start. It affects us in those ways too. It's like, do I even have what it takes is start this. I mean this. This person over year has ten years of experience on the resume and I only have three. Does that mean I should not even give it a go? This person has tenzero followers on insert social media. I've got ten. Should I even waste my time while even and have what it takes. is so it'specks people at the starting line who really think about going after what they want. But it also affect people who are well in to the path, people who have written three books and built two businesses, and I still somehow feel like they just are not deserved of the praise, the Act Lazy achievements they've had, because they're still comparing themselves to their neighbors or their friends. So that you any thoughts on other than how is out of house. That affecting a psychologically like what in your lens other than just the way I stated? Is You want to add anything to that? Well, the idea of comparison is really something that drives imposter syndrome. The comparison is what can really take away someone's joy and it also takes away their own message. Because if I'm always worried about what do I have to say and how does it compare, to bounce off of what is Patrick saying, if I'm always comparing myself to him, am I really taking my own steps forward? Am I really creating the thing that I am trying to create if all I'm doing is always comparing it to somebody else. And you know, I would say that the most successful people are the ones who kind of forget what everybody else is doing and it's those trailblazers and the ones who are inventors. All, think of the inventors over the years. People are comparing each other to what, you know, what does this thing do compared to what is this thing do? And if we were only focuss done comparing ourselves to another person, how can we ever really build anything great? Hundred percent agree with you. And just just to add even a little bit to that, one of the things, so we'll kind of get into some solutions here. One of the things that we can...

...do if we if you hear what Kitty and I are talking about and you're like yeah, like secretly, Patrick Katty, that's sort of me, like I'm feeling some of what you're talking about. Even though I've built this business, even though I've worked my way up to this level of ladder in my career, I'm still feeling like, do I really deserve all these people to follow me? Do I deserve all these things? The very first thing I want to bring up in terms of being solution focus and what we can practically do to turn this around. And this one's for me, and then, Kate, you have another great one as well. Is Begin by honoring your gifts. This is something that we are talking about in our upcoming illuminate program more information on that coming very soon, but we're going to be talking about shining a light and all the beautiful gifts and strengths that you have to bring to the world and the really sparking that confidence to go after that thing you want. Stay tuned, subscribe this Chann to be notified for any future updates everything we have going there. But the the idea is this. You've got something amazing about you, and I'm not saying this just a blow smoke. I'm not saying this because all I read this on a poster somewhere. People still have posters that if people I just dated myself. Yeah, pully a posters. Yeah, that's something the kids are using these days, the ones, but like the cat sleeping on the branch and the school concerts office. Yeah, that that that one. Here's the thing. When it comes to building a brand, when it comes to building your differentiators, the big question is what makes you special and makes you different? What's something you have that no one else has got? I don't care how many years of experience I have, and occur, how many, how big their resume a is or how high they moved up the corporate ladder, whatever is going on, there's something that you have the no one else has, and that's could be your personality, that could be your just unique Lens, it could be all the incredible experiences you've gone through in life and discovering what that special sauces, discovering with that special thing that makes you you is and then linging into it, knowing that that's going to what's going to power you forward, is really incredible. And just to kind of bring this to life a little bit from you, guys, I like to share something that's on my heart, about what I have discovered. Is One of my gifts and, Kat, if you don't mind, I like to hear something from you, something you just feels like one of your unique things. And if you guys want to come below, let us know what something that just you've discovered about yourself that, just like your special sauce, that unique thing that only you could bring to the world and for me it came from multiple people tell me something that I need to see in myself. And people told me, Patrick, your passion is contagious and you've got that love, you've got that heart in you, and the way that you talked to people, the way that you put it out there, man, it just makes me want to listen to what you have to say. And I'm not saying that's everyone's going to vide me that way, but I think that this really honoring that. That's one of the gifts I have, is the kind of the gift of Gab, the gift of...

...be able to communicate and talk to people in a loving and supportive and coaching way. That's one of the things that makes me stand out from the crowd and get builds me in this confidence. It says I do belong at the see of the table. I don't care who's got what, x, Y Z. I deserve to be here. I'm not an imposter. Whats some thing? That's what, something that's on your list of things. You deserved some good stuff. Well, I think I'm going to tell you what is my special quality. Who Yeah, that that I have to bring to the world. So I've discovered that I'm a really good leader, and even if I'm not like at the top of the group or whatever, I found that I can be a really good leader from wherever I am, and that shows up in being a really good problem solver and keeping a level head and really giving the attention to people in the way that they need it and doing all those things together and not not blaming that pointing fingers, but keeping on a focus of finding a solution and having a really good attitude along the way. I've discovered that that's my special qualities that I that I bring. I would agree with this and everyone that I've heard it worked with you agrees the same way. But so what is it for you guys? What's what's your special thing that you've got? It doesn't have to be a skill, it could be part of your personality. But the point is this. There is a reason that you should feel extraordinarily confident about yourself, regardless of how many books you written or business you've build or lovely you've achieved. It's separate from that and that's what builds the confidence to break through this imposter syndrome. Now, okay, do you have another one? You want to add onto this in terms of another something that's very important we do to breakthrough imposter syndrome and some of these things that are holding people back from the life that they deserve. So let's talk about that. So this might not be exactly related to imposter syndrome. It's not. I mean it's not the same as imposter syndem but it's definitely related. So something that I've discovered about myself in the last couple of years is that I have identified these subconscious limiting beliefs that I've had about myself, and the main one is, you know, if you've heard me talk in a couple episodes ago about people pleasing and perfectionism, really it's sort of related to that. I've always been most concerned with what am I doing to make people happy, and this is comes in the form of making my parents happy, making my boss happy, making my teachers happy and meeting their expectations. So instead of setting my own expectations for myself and what I am capable of and what my strengths are, I have been pointing it toward somebody else, which has actually made me kind of stunted and it's made me not be able to push past whatever limiting beliefs I may have had about myself that,...

...honestly, until I started to think about it, I didn't know that this was even something that I was dealing with. Yeah, so, if anyone's listening, I would encourage you to just take some time and look into yourself and say, are my actions because of somebody else or they because of what I think is truly right? And so what you really have to remember is that you can rely on yourself when it comes to making decisions about your life. You are probably more wise than you know you are then you think you are, and you have a lot of information and you have so many gifts to give. So the way this is shown up for me is that I have found that once I was I able to identify that I wasn't really taking action based on myself, I was taking action based on other people, doors started opening for me. It was really interesting. I don't know if this is the law of attraction or manifesting my greatest desires or the universe or God or whatever, but as I started to shipway at these things that were holding me back, doors started opening and it was clear. It wasn't like Oh, maybe, oh, shoot, maybe that was a little door that opened. No doors are flying open. So it's been very cool. And so what I've been personally doing is just looking into my shadow, you know, and seeing these shadow things, the negative things, and trying to pull those out, make those an asset to myself and use them, the things that I was trying to hide before. I use it and I use it to my advantage and it is made me more creative and it's made me really moving forward and I think, I think a lot of people would experience the same thing. I think we just end the episode right there. I mean you just you just nailed it so beautifully. Cash. I'm just so happy to be married you and connect to do it, yeah, in the room with you. My God. If you guys have experienced anything like what Katie's talking about, please throw it in the comments. Let us know and we'll discuss it here. Will mention it or if you don't want to be mentioned, to say it, just sell us the is. Don't mention my name. Will just bring it up because we love shared wisdom. We love your wisdom. So so the first thing we're talking about is honoring your gifts, sort to beat imposter syndrome and have your best self come to the table. Whether again, you're just on the bench and you're just getting going, you're looking at jumping into a brand new life, or you've already achieved some incredible stuff but you want to take your life to that next level, but you're hesitating, you're holding back. Our advice right now, first one is on your gifts. Find that special sauce, that special thing that makes you you, because no one else can compete with you on that level. Own that, hold that in and give it some some good energy and to let the old ideas about yourself go. There's some stuff that's on the unconscious level that...

...you're holding you back and when you realize it's not because all the thing about I'm hosture, it's all about other people, Oh, other I'm comparements with yeah, but it's sometimes it's you versus you. That's what the real game is about, that's what the inner game is about. So that's some of the first advice. We've got a two more. This one, this one for me as a recovering perfectionist, this one made a huge difference for me because I sat there on the bench for so many years looking at other people winning going. Do I have what it takes? Should I even jump into the arena? I don't have as many degrees, I don't have as many followers, I don't have as many anything. What I realize is that you can serve at your level if you have achieved something and you have what are going to come to what you've already achieved in just a minute here everyone below you, you can serve them. So if you're at level too, you can serve everyone at level one and level zero. If you're at level five, could yeah, maybe you're not at level ten, where you want to be, but you are at level five, you can serve everyone at level four, hundred and thirty, two, one and zero. You have so much to give. Don't wait to give that thing that you're here to give. So that's one of the things we want to make sure that we want a highlight. There is another reason, other way that you can overcome this self doubt, this comparison syndrome or imposter syndrome, is your called. You want to add anything to that idea? Well, I think that's so good, and the only thing I want to add is that show up wherever you're doing, whatever level you're at, show up and do your best and bring your special gifts. I don't care if you are entry level, sorting the mail, putting the carts away. Bring your gift to it, because you are going to positively impact everybody around you and that's only going to be good for you. Yes, I hope you guys feel in this episode. I hope you feel this episode. I'm feeling good, like I don't if all the things we could have done on a Sunday. Hey, kids, kids sleeping in bed. I hope dog ate a very expensive tree, if you know you were talking about you just joining us live. We mentioned are of them, dog eight of tree, their expensive Chappie and number three. We want to talk about one other major thing here to help you guys overcoming pastor cender. Thank you for hanging with us up until this part of the video. This is something and it's an exercise that we want to recommend for you guys, if it any any part of you that's hesitating on that next level, if it's holding back in any way your giftedness, in your greatness, that you're here. What again, whether you're getting started or you want to take life in your business to the next level. This is a big one. It's about honoring your accomplishments. And here's the exercise we want to offer you, guys, and we actually do this as part of our eliminate program Nott to overly pitch illuminate. I know it's not even here yet. We're still working on but one of the exercises that one of the things we conversations...

...we have is it's a look back. It's like kind of a last year's inventory on your life, not just where are you now, but where you coming from, what's behind you, in a celebratory way, because often we just don't get ourselves enough credit. We don't give ourselves enough credit for all the great things we've done. We're all in so many of us are saying, well, yeah, it'll be, will be, I'll call it great when I get to this level, when I have this much money in the bank, like we're just holding back a good old pat on the back for ourselves. So honoring your accomplishments, and I'll just I'll start here with the simple thing and just to Prac this what we preach here's something I'm personally proud of that I've achieved or the past let's say two years. I'm not going to go back five or anything, but over the past two years I have set goals and achieve them, as small as they may seem, of breaking through personal doubts, breaking through securies. I've seen myself of the past two years do more brave, bold stuff than I've ever seen myself do and I have to give myself a good old head on the back for that. And have I reached my large scale goals? Not yet, but I am climbing that mountain, I am on the way and I'm proud of every step. So we're in the space of personal pride and personal conference. There's no room for comparison there, there's no room for self doubt there, because I'm too busy feeling good about all the steps that I'm taking to get where I'm going. But you know, or to get that, you have to begin by knowledging what you have done instead of hyper focusing what you have yet to do or accomplish. Right, and there's another way to look at this too, as if you maybe you've spent the last year super struggling and you feel like you're failing constantly. But the person who gets back up and tries over and over and over again, is so strong to compared to somebody who maybe just tick through all the stuff no problem. Yeah, like you know. I'm thinking of somebody who might have a very, very large health will lose a hundred pounds like that can seem somewhat insurmountable. And you know as success weight losses, you know up and down and up and down. But it's that person who keeps trying and never gives up that is just becoming stronger. And that's called contending. And if you can keep contending to reach your goal, just keep moving forward and you just getting closer and closer and closer. So when we're talking about looking back on your accomplishments, think about that. Even if you feel like, Oh, I haven't accomplished anything, you really have. You know, as long as you're doing something, even if you are massively, massively struggling with something, but let's say you finally identified it and you finally admitted to yourself I am struggling with this, that's an accomplishment. Yes, Kay's pause there for a minute. MIMM IT midnute there I can to mivinite it. Just the acknowledgement of those limited limiting beliefs limiting actions,...

...living mindsets or stinking thinking. He's, we like to call it here, at the pursuit of yeah, even that is a victory and something worth celebrating. So today has been about living your bold life, and it begins with breaking through and overcoming some of the things that stopping you. And one of the big things that we've been talked about use imposter syndrome and how to get past that and pursue the life, even the next level of yourself, your health, Your Business, that you can do, you should do, and we're going to lean a little further. You must do it because the world needs that little that special gift that you that you have. The world important, the world needs everybody to be moving forward on this. Imagine if we were all thinking in this way, because we're not. Our world is in a it's it's in a place right a place right now, and just the amount of conflict and discord, and you know all of that. But if we were really all working on being our best and doing our best and using our gifts, I think that we would be heading in a really good direction. Absolutely so, if you guys want more encouraging messages like this. You know, make sure to hit that like button. We always helps us with the channel. Subscribe the Channel if you want to be note of head every single time ago life. You don't miss any of this and obviously, if you want, if you're watching on Youtube, pit that bell to make sure that you get those notifications. So listen. Thank you, guys, for tuning in fronother episode and until we see again, may the fire within lead a happiest heights and the road you travel be lined with light. There it is. Thank you, guys so much. We'll see you on the next episode. Cheers, cheers,.

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