Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 25 · 1 month ago

4 Tips to Overcome IMPOSTER SYNDROME, Build Confidence, and Become All You Are Meant to Be

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's LIVE episode we discuss why 70% of the high achievers and business owners struggle with imposter syndrome, and 4 tips of how to overcome it.  

Hey Hey, go get. Her is welcome back toanother episode of the pursuit we go live every week to give you guys thebig ideas you need to grow yourself, your business and your impact. Listentoday we're talking about how to get past the forces that stop you fromliving, your boldest most beautiful life, we're going to be talking about aposter syndrome, or we talking about self doubt, and this isn't just affectpeople who are on the bench. This affects high achievers, probably evenmore because we're always comparing yourself to other people. So if that'syou, you got a lot of amazing things going on. Listen. You want to stayconnected to every single time we go live. Make your hit that, like buttonsubscribe to the Channel F you're on to you to make sure that that bell wouldbe notified of any future content. I'm here with with well I'm Patrick Hi, I'mKatie, that's okay, okay, and we just want to make sure you guys say hell, sowhether you're watching us live other. You watchin this in the recording, ifyou're catching us on youtube on linked in on facebook or listening in ourcompanion podcast. However, you found yourself here: Hey we're just glad thatyeah, you end up here on this lovely Sunday, speaking speaking of lovelySundays, something happened. Something happened today. What just happenedabout five minutes ago makes us a little late for this broadcast s,always nice to get some good news right before you go alive on a video I haveas letting the dogs in and our beast dog. I see him that he's out there toan a stick. He's lots of times chewing a stick. Sometimes he pulls a branch ofa Bush or a tree or whatever you know, we got a lot of trees back there. It'sfine! It's fine, so he's having a grand old time running around this thing, andI don't notice what it is until I see that he's ripped off the top of one ofour Japanese Maples, which I have been carefully growing for two years like now. It's just stick is just a stick: WE'RE gonna, so that's cool we're Gointo change. Today's title and stop talking about living your best livethat by how not to kill your dogs, that's going to be the topic today. So, as we talk about this topic today,you guys what I would like for you guys is join into the discussion. Put in thecomments below your thoughts on this. If you've overcome it, we want to knowhow you guys have done it so that we can add your wisdom to the conversation.So, let's, let's just begin here with a simple premise: what's going on in the world, why isthis word impostor syndrome, such a big buzz word? If you haven't been aware ofit, it's going all over the Internet right now and it's been for probably agood year and let's just begin with a definition of what this thing is andreally why we should even be concerned about it, whether you're on a businessor you're thinking of leaving your current job because of the crazy youknow world that we live in right now. You want to start that new career,whatever thinking, let's talk about, want me holding some of a great andbeautiful talent from showing up in the world the way that it's really meant toKaty. I don't you're, not webster, you're, not a dictionary, but if youhad to come up with a a phrase like...

...what do we talk about here? What isimposture impostor syndrome is the feeling that a person has when they aredoing something, but they feel like they're, not quite qualified or they're,pretending, they're playing a role and by doing that, they feel like they'rean impostor, not like a true leader. You see it a lot and social mediapeople saying this like influencers, but it actually applies to like regularfolks too, like us you're in you end up in a roll, whereyou think. Oh my Gosh, how my past Bagin to do this. I am not qualified.Why are people trusting me to do this, and so you feel like an impostor hmm to go a little deeper. It also affectspeople again, not just on the bench, not people who are watching otherpeople do it. Pursue the dreams, and so it affects people on literally bothends of the spectrum. Some folks are like hey, listen. I want to do thisthing, but it's a hesitance to start. It affects us in those ways too. It'slike do. I even have what it takes to start this I mean this. This personalvhere has ten years of experience on the resume and I only have three doesthat mean I should not even give it a go. This person has tenser followers oninsert social media. I've got ten Soshul, I even waste my time, but Ieven have what it takes. So it affects people at the starting line who really think about what going afterwhat they want, but it also affects people who are well in to the pathpeople who have written three books and built two businesses, and they stillsomehow feel like they just are not deserved. Of the praise. The ACCOLADEachievements they've had cause they're still comparing themselves to theirneighbors to their friends, so that divine thoughts and how the and Howsoof how is that affecting US psychologically like what in your lensother than just the the way I stayed. I you want to add anything to that. Well,the idea of comparison is really something that drives impostor syndrome. The comparison, I is what can reallytake away someone's joy and it also takes away their own message, because,if I'm always worried about what do I have to say, and how does it compare tobounce off of what? What is Patrick saying, if I'm always comparing myselfto him, am I really taking my own steps forward and I really creating the thingthat I am trying to create? If all I'm doing is always comparing it tosomebody else, and you know, I would say that the most successful people arethe ones who kind of forget what everybody else is doing, and it's thosetrail blazers and the ones who are inventors. I think of the inventorsover the years. People are comparing each other to what you know. What isthis thing do compared to what does this thing do and if we were onlyfocused on comparing ourselves to another person, how can we ever reallybuild anything great? A hundred percent agree with you and just just to addeven a little bit to that one of the things so we'll kind of getinto some solutions here, one of the...

...things that we can do if we, if youhear what Kitty and I are talking about and you're like yeah like secretlyPatrick Katie, that's sort of me like I am feeling some of what you're talkingabout, even though I've built this business, even though I've worked myway up to this level of ladder in my career, I'm still feeling like do Ireally deserve all these people to follow me. Do I deserve all thesethings? The very first thing I want to bring up in terms of being solution,focus and what we can practically do to turn this around and this one's for methan Kate. You have another great one as well as begin by honoring your gifts. This issomething that we are talking about in our upcoming illuminate program, moreinformation on that coming very soon, but we're going to be talking aboutshining, a light and all the beautiful gifts and strength that you have tobring to the world and then really sparking that confidence to go. Afterthat thing, you want to stay tuned subscribe to this channel, be notifiedfor any future updates everything we have going there, but the the idea isthis. You've got something amazing about youand I'm not saying this just a blow smoke. I'm not saying this because Iwant. I read this on a post or somewhere, people still have posterstaneous dated my s, a puny of posters, yeah, that's something! The kids areusing these days, the ones with like the cat sleeping on the branch and theschool counselors office, yeah that that that one here's the thing when it comes tobuilding a brand when it comes to building your differentiators. The bigquestion is: What makes you special and makes you different? What's somethingyou have that no one else has got, I don't care how many years of experienceI have or how many, how big their resumee is or how high they moved upthe corporate ladder whatever's going on there's something that you have theno one else has, and that's could be your personality that could be yourjust unique lands. It could be all the incredible experiences you've gonethrough in life and discovering what that special sauce is discovering. Whatthat special thing that makes you you is and then leaning into it. Knowingthat that's going to what's going to power, you forward is really incredibleand just to kind of bring this life a little bit for you guys, I like toshare something. That's on my heart, about what I have discovered is one ofmy gifts and Katy. If you don't mind, I like to hear something from yousomething you just feels like one of your unique things and if you guys wantto come below, let us know what something that just you've discoveredabout yourself, that just like your special sauce, a unique thing that onlyyou could bring to the world and for me it came from multiple people telling mesomething that I need see in myself, and people told me, Patrick YourPassion is contagious and you've got that love. You've got that heart in youand the way that you talked to people the way that you put it out there, man,it just makes you want to listen to what you have to say and I'm not sayingthat's everyone's going to vide me that way, but I think that just reallyhonoring that that's one of the gifts I...

...have is the kind of the gift of Gab thegift to be able to communicate and talk to people and a loving and supportiveand coaching way. That's one of the things that makes me stand out from thecrowd and builds me in this confidence. I says I do belong at the see the table.I don't care who's got what X Y Z I deserve to be here, I'm not an impostor.What's some one thing, that's what's something! That's on your list ofthings! You deserve it some good stuff. Well, I think I'm going to tell you what ismy special quality that that I have to bring to the world, so I've discoveredthat I'm a really good leader, and even if I'm not like at the top of the groupor whatever I've found that I can be a really good leader from wherever I am,and that shows up in being a really good problem, solver and keeping alevel head and really giving the attention to people in the way thatthey need it and doing all those things together and not not blaming thatpointing fingers, but keeping I on a focus of finding a solution and havinga really good attitude along the way. I've discovered that that's my specialqualities that that I bring. I would agree with this and everyone that I'veheard it worked with. You agrees the same way, but so what is it for youguys? What's your special thing that you've got and it doesn't have to be askill, it could be part of your personality. But the point is this:There is a reason that you should feel extraordinarily confident aboutyourself, regardless of how many books you've written or business you built orlovely you achieve it. It's separate from that and that's what builds theconfidence to break through this impostor syndrome. Now, okay, you haveanother one. You want to add on to this in terms of another, something that'svery important. We do to break through impostor syndrome and some of thesethings that are holding people back from the life that they deserve. Solet's talk about that. So this might not be exactly related to impostor synd.It's not! I mean it's not the same as impostors in them, but it's definitelyrelated, so something that I've discovered about myself in the lastcouple of years is that I have identified these subconscious limitingbeliefs that I've had about myself and the main one is. You know if you'veheard me talk in a couple episodes ago about people pleasing perfectionism,like it's sort of related to that I've always been most concerned with. What am I doing tomake people happy, and this is comes in the form of making my parents happy,making my boss happy, making my teachers happy and meeting theirexpectations. So, instead of setting my own expectations for myself and what Iam capable of and what my strengths are, I have been pointing it toward somebodyelse, which has actually made me kind of stunted, and it's made me notbe able to push past whatever limiting...

...beliefs I may have had about myself andhonestly until I started to think about it. I didn't know that this was evensomething that I was dealing with yeah, so, if anyone's listening, I wouldencourage you to just take some time and look into yourself and say are myactions because of somebody else or they because of what I think is trulyright, and so what you really have to remember is that you can rely onyourself when it comes to making decisions about your life. You areprobably more wise than you know you are than you think you are, and youhave a lot of information and you have so many gifts to give. So the way thisis shown up for me is that I have found that once I was I able to identify that, Iwasn't really taking action. Based on myself, I was taking action based onother people, doors started opening. For me it wasreally interesting. I don't know if this is a law of attraction ormanifesting my greatest desires or the universe or God or whatever, but as I started to chip away at these things that wereholding me back, doors started opening and it was clear it wasn't like. Ohmaybe oh shoot. Maybe that was a little door that opened no floors are flyingopen, so it's been very cool, and so whatI've been personally doing is just looking into my shadow, you know andseeing these shadow things the negative things and trying to pull those out,make those an asset to myself and use them. The things that I was trying tohide before I use it, and I use it to my advantage and it is made me morecreative and it's made me really moving forward and I think I think a lot of people wouldexperience the same thing. I think we just end the episode right there. Imean you just you just mailed it so beautifully Gosh, I'm just so happy to be marriedto you and connect you in ah in the room with you, my God, if you guys haveexperienced anything like what Kate's talking about please throw out in thecomments. Let us know and we'll discuss it here, we'll mention it or if youdon't want to be mentioned to say it, your sells. The comments, don't mentionmy name, we'll just bring it up, because we love shared wisdom. We loveyour wisdom, so so the first thing we're talkingabout is honoring your gifts or to beat him posters Yngram and have your bestself come to the table, whether again you're just on the bench and you're,just getting going you're looking at jumping into a brand new life or you've.Already achieved some incredible stuff, but you want to take your life to thatnext level. Put your hesitated, your hold them back our advice right now.First one is honor. Your gifts find that special sauce that special thingthat makes you you, because no one else can compete with you on that level. Onthat hold that in and give it some some good energy and to let the old ideasabout yourself go. There's some stuff.

That's on the unconscious level thatyou're it's holding you back and when you realize it's not because all thething about him Hastin's all about other people- oh other comparees yeah,but it's sometimes it's you versus you. That's what the real game is about.That's what the inner game is about. So that's some of the first advice. We gottwo more this one, this one for me as a recovering perfection. Is this onemade a huge difference for me because I sat there on the bench for so manyyears. Looking at other people, winning going do I have what it takes. Should Ieven jump into the arena? I don't have many degrees. I don't have as manyfollowers I don't have as many anything. What I realized is that you can serveat your level if you have achieved something and you have what you'regoing to come to what you've already achieved in just a minute here,everyone below you, you can serve them. So if you're at level too, you canserve everyone at level, one and level zero. If your level, five good yeah,maybe you're, not at level ten where you want to be, but you are at levelfive, you can serve everyone at level, four, three, two one and zero. You haveso much to give. Don't wait to give that thing that you're here to give? Sothat's one of the the things we want to make sure that we want a highlight.There is another reason other way that you can overcome this self doubt thiscomparison syndrome or impostor syndrome is yore called. You want toadd anything to that idea. Well, I think that's so good, and the onlything I want to add is that show up whatever you're doing whatever youlevel you're at show up and do your best and bring your special gifts. Igot don't care if you are entry level, sorting the mail putting the carts away,bring your gift to it, because you are going to positively impact everybodyaround you and that's only going to be good for you. Yes, I hope you guys feelon this episode. I hope you feel this episode, I'm feeling good like I. Ifall the things we could have done on a Sunday, Hey, kids, kids sleeping in bedhelp dog ate a der expensive. True, if you know we were talking about youjust joining us live. We mentioned our dog at a tree, a her expensive, Japes,Panum er. Three. We want to talk about one other major thing here to help youguys overcome and pastors, and your thank you for hanging with us up untilthis part of the video. This is something and it's an exercise that wewant to recommend for you guys if it any any part of you, that's hesitatingon that next level, if it's holding back in any way your giftedness andyour greatness that you're here, what again whether you're getting started oryou want to take life in your business to the next level. This is a big one.It's about honoring, your accomplishments and here's the exercise.We want to offer you guys, and we actually do this as part of oureliminate Proa not to overly pitch illuminate. I know it's not even hereyet we're still working on it, but one of the exercises that one of the thingswe conversations we have is it's a look...

...back. It's like a kind of a last year'sinventory on your life, not just where are you now, but where you coming from?What's behind you in a celebratory way, because often we just don't giveourselves enough credit, we don't give ourselves enough credit for all thegreat things we've done, we're all in so many of us are saying well, yeahI'll, call it great when I get to this level when I have this much money inthe bank like we're just holding back a good old pat on the back for ourselves,so honoring your accomplishments and I'll. Just I'll start here with thesimple thing and just to practice what we preach. Here's something I'mpersonally proud of that I have achieved or the past. Let's say two years: I'm not going togo back five or anything over the past two years. I have set goals and achievethem as small as they may seem of breaking through personal doubtsbreaking through security. I've seen myself of the past two years, do morebrave old stuff than I've ever seen. Myself do and I have to give myself agood old, pat on the back for that and have I reached my large scale goals notyet, but I am climbing that mountain I'm on the way and I'm proud of everystep so we're in the space of personal pride and personal comfits. There's noroom for comparison, then there's no room for self doubt there, because I'mtoo busy feeling good about all the steps that I'm taking to get where I'mgoing, but you or to get there. You have to begin by knowledging what youhave done, instead of hyper focusing what you have yet to do or accomplishright and there's another way to look at this too, as if you maybe you'vespent the last year super struggling and you feel like you're failingconstantly, but the person who gets back up and tries over and over andover again is so strong to compared to somebody who may be just tick throughall the stuff. No problem yeah, like you know, I'm thinking of somebody whomight have a very, very large health goal, lose a hundred pounds like thatcan seem somewhat insurmountable and you know as success weight losses. Youknow up and down and up and down, but it's that person who keeps trying andnever gives up. That is just becoming stronger and that's called contendingand if you can keep contending to reach your goal, just keep moving forward andyou just getting closer and closer and closer. So when we're talking aboutlooking back on your accomplishments, think about that, even if you feel like.Oh, I haven't accomplished anything. You really have you know as long asyou're doing something, even if you are massively massively struggling withsomething, but let's say you finally identified it, and you finally admittedto yourself. I am struggling with this. That's an accomplishment! Yes, Chrispaused there for a mimente midnite. Here I can emunciae just theacknowledgment of those limited...

...limiting beliefs, limiting actions,livii mindsets or stinking thing, and as we like to call it here at thepursuit of yeah. Even that is a victory, and something worth celebrating sotoday has been about living your bold life and it begins with breakingthrough and overcoming some of the things that in stopping you and one ofthe big things that we've been talking about his impostors ingem and how toget past that and pursue the life even the next level of yourself, your health,your business, that you can do, you should do and we're going to lean it alittle further. You must do it because the world needs that little, thatspecial gift that you that you have the world important the world needseverybody to be moving for it on this. Imagine if we were all thinking in thisway, because we're not our world isn't a is it's in a place right place rightnow and just the amount of conflict and discord, and you know all of that, butif we were really all working on being our best and doing our best and usingour gifts, I think that we would be heading in a really good direction.Absolutely so, if you guys want more encouraging messages like this, youknow make sure to hit that like button, we always helps us with the channelsubscribe the channel. I you going to be no vehat every single time. We golife, you don't miss any of this and obviously, if you want, if you watch inon you to pit that bell to make sure that you get those notifications, solisten. Thank you guys for tuning in from their episode and until we seeagain may the fire with him lead the happiest heights and the road youtravel be lined with light there. It is thank you guys. So much will see you onthe next episode. CHEERS CHEERS A.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (26)