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THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 25 · 3 months ago

4 Tips to Overcome IMPOSTER SYNDROME, Build Confidence, and Become All You Are Meant to Be

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's LIVE episode we discuss why 70% of the high achievers and business owners struggle with imposter syndrome, and 4 tips of how to overcome it.  

Hey, hey, go getters,welcome back to another episode of the pursuit. We go live every week to giveyou guys the big ideas need to grow yourself, your business and yourimpact. Listen, today we're talking about how to get past the forces thatstop you from living your boldest, most beautiful life. Or can we talkingabout imposter syndrome? Or you talking about self doubt? And this isn't justaffect people who are on the bench. This affects high achievers probably even more, because we're always comparing yourself to other people. So, if that's you, you got a lot amazing things going on. Listen. You want tostay connected to every single time we go live, make your hit that likebutton. Subscribe to the channel. F you're on to Youtube, make sureto get that bell to be notified of any future content. I'm here withwith. Well, I'm Patrick, hi, I'm Katie. That's okay, okay, and we just want to make sure you guys say hell. So, whether you're watching us live, whether you watch this in the recording,if you're catching us on Youtube, on Linkedin, on facebook or listening onour companion podcast, however you found yourself here, Hey, we're just gladthat you end up here on this lovely Sunday. Speak. Speaking of lovelySundays, something happened. Something happened today. What does happened about five minutes ago, makes us a little late for this broadcast. Always Nice to getsome good news right before you go live. On the video I have US lettingthe dogs in and our beast dog, hug I see him. He's outthere chewing a stick. He's lots of times chewing a stick. Sometimeshe pulls a branch off a Bush or a tree or whatever. You know, we got a lot of trees back there. It's fine, it's fine, so he said, having a grand old time running around this thing,and I don't notice what it is until I see that he's ripped off thetop of one of our Japanese Maples, which I've been carefully growing for twoyears now. It's to stick. It's just a stick. We're gonna sothat's cool. We're going to change today's title and stop talking about living yourbest life. That I had not to kill your dogs. That's going tobe the topic today. So, as we talked about this topic today,you guys, what I would like from you, guys, is join intothe discussion. Put in the comments below your thoughts on this. If you'veovercome it, we want to know how you guys have done it so thatwe can add your wisdom to the conversation. So let's let's just be getting herewith a simple premise. What's going on in the world? Why isthis word imposter syndrome such a big buzz word? If you haven't been awareof it, it's going all over the Internet right now and it's been forprobably a good year. And let's just begin with a definition of what thisthing is and really why we should even be concerned about it. Whether you'reon a business or you're thinking of leaving your current job because of the crazy, you know, world that we live in right now, you want tostart that new career, whatever you thinking, let's talk about want to be holdingsome of great and beautiful talent from showing up in the world the waythat it's really meant to. Katie, I don't you're not webster, you'renot a dictionary, but if you had...

...to come up with a phrase likewhat are we talk about here? What is impostor imposter syndrome? Is thefeeling that a person has when they are doing something but they feel like they'renot quite qualified or they're pretending, they're playing a role and by doing thatthey feel like they're an impostor not like a true leader. You see ita lot and social media people saying this like influencers, but it actually appliesto like regular folks, to like us. You're in it. You end upin a role where you think, oh my Gosh, how am Ipossibly going to do this? I am not qualified. Why are people trustingme to do this? And so you feel like an impostor, HMM,in it. To go a little deeper, it also affects people, again,not just on the bed, not people who are watching other people doit, pursue the dreams, and so it facts people on literally both endsof the spectrum. Some folks are like Hey, listen, I want todo this thing, but it's a hesitance to start. It affects us inthose ways too. It's like, do I even have what it takes isstart this. I mean this. This person over year has ten years ofexperience on the resume and I only have three. Does that mean I shouldnot even give it a go? This person has tenzero followers on insert socialmedia. I've got ten. Should I even waste my time while even andhave what it takes. is so it'specks people at the starting line who reallythink about going after what they want. But it also affect people who arewell in to the path, people who have written three books and built twobusinesses, and I still somehow feel like they just are not deserved of thepraise, the Act Lazy achievements they've had, because they're still comparing themselves to theirneighbors or their friends. So that you any thoughts on other than howis out of house. That affecting a psychologically like what in your lens otherthan just the way I stated? Is You want to add anything to that? Well, the idea of comparison is really something that drives imposter syndrome.The comparison is what can really take away someone's joy and it also takes awaytheir own message. Because if I'm always worried about what do I have tosay and how does it compare, to bounce off of what is Patrick saying, if I'm always comparing myself to him, am I really taking my own stepsforward? Am I really creating the thing that I am trying to createif all I'm doing is always comparing it to somebody else. And you know, I would say that the most successful people are the ones who kind offorget what everybody else is doing and it's those trailblazers and the ones who areinventors. All, think of the inventors over the years. People are comparingeach other to what, you know, what does this thing do compared towhat is this thing do? And if we were only focuss done comparing ourselvesto another person, how can we ever really build anything great? Hundred percentagree with you. And just just to add even a little bit to that, one of the things, so we'll kind of get into some solutions here. One of the things that we can...

...do if we if you hear whatKitty and I are talking about and you're like yeah, like secretly, PatrickKatty, that's sort of me, like I'm feeling some of what you're talkingabout. Even though I've built this business, even though I've worked my way upto this level of ladder in my career, I'm still feeling like,do I really deserve all these people to follow me? Do I deserve allthese things? The very first thing I want to bring up in terms ofbeing solution focus and what we can practically do to turn this around. Andthis one's for me, and then, Kate, you have another great oneas well. Is Begin by honoring your gifts. This is something that weare talking about in our upcoming illuminate program more information on that coming very soon, but we're going to be talking about shining a light and all the beautifulgifts and strengths that you have to bring to the world and the really sparkingthat confidence to go after that thing you want. Stay tuned, subscribe thisChann to be notified for any future updates everything we have going there. Butthe the idea is this. You've got something amazing about you, and I'mnot saying this just a blow smoke. I'm not saying this because all Iread this on a poster somewhere. People still have posters that if people Ijust dated myself. Yeah, pully a posters. Yeah, that's something thekids are using these days, the ones, but like the cat sleeping on thebranch and the school concerts office. Yeah, that that that one.Here's the thing. When it comes to building a brand, when it comesto building your differentiators, the big question is what makes you special and makesyou different? What's something you have that no one else has got? Idon't care how many years of experience I have, and occur, how many, how big their resume a is or how high they moved up the corporateladder, whatever is going on, there's something that you have the no oneelse has, and that's could be your personality, that could be your justunique Lens, it could be all the incredible experiences you've gone through in lifeand discovering what that special sauces, discovering with that special thing that makes youyou is and then linging into it, knowing that that's going to what's goingto power you forward, is really incredible. And just to kind of bring thisto life a little bit from you, guys, I like to share somethingthat's on my heart, about what I have discovered. Is One ofmy gifts and, Kat, if you don't mind, I like to hearsomething from you, something you just feels like one of your unique things.And if you guys want to come below, let us know what something that justyou've discovered about yourself that, just like your special sauce, that uniquething that only you could bring to the world and for me it came frommultiple people tell me something that I need to see in myself. And peopletold me, Patrick, your passion is contagious and you've got that love,you've got that heart in you, and the way that you talked to people, the way that you put it out there, man, it just makesme want to listen to what you have to say. And I'm not sayingthat's everyone's going to vide me that way, but I think that this really honoringthat. That's one of the gifts I have, is the kind ofthe gift of Gab, the gift of...

...be able to communicate and talk topeople in a loving and supportive and coaching way. That's one of the thingsthat makes me stand out from the crowd and get builds me in this confidence. It says I do belong at the see of the table. I don'tcare who's got what, x, Y Z. I deserve to be here. I'm not an imposter. Whats some thing? That's what, something that'son your list of things. You deserved some good stuff. Well, Ithink I'm going to tell you what is my special quality. Who Yeah,that that I have to bring to the world. So I've discovered that I'ma really good leader, and even if I'm not like at the top ofthe group or whatever, I found that I can be a really good leaderfrom wherever I am, and that shows up in being a really good problemsolver and keeping a level head and really giving the attention to people in theway that they need it and doing all those things together and not not blamingthat pointing fingers, but keeping on a focus of finding a solution and havinga really good attitude along the way. I've discovered that that's my special qualitiesthat I that I bring. I would agree with this and everyone that I'veheard it worked with you agrees the same way. But so what is itfor you guys? What's what's your special thing that you've got? It doesn'thave to be a skill, it could be part of your personality. Butthe point is this. There is a reason that you should feel extraordinarily confidentabout yourself, regardless of how many books you written or business you've build orlovely you've achieved. It's separate from that and that's what builds the confidence tobreak through this imposter syndrome. Now, okay, do you have another one? You want to add onto this in terms of another something that's very importantwe do to breakthrough imposter syndrome and some of these things that are holding peopleback from the life that they deserve. So let's talk about that. Sothis might not be exactly related to imposter syndrome. It's not. I meanit's not the same as imposter syndem but it's definitely related. So something thatI've discovered about myself in the last couple of years is that I have identifiedthese subconscious limiting beliefs that I've had about myself, and the main one is, you know, if you've heard me talk in a couple episodes ago aboutpeople pleasing and perfectionism, really it's sort of related to that. I've alwaysbeen most concerned with what am I doing to make people happy, and thisis comes in the form of making my parents happy, making my boss happy, making my teachers happy and meeting their expectations. So instead of setting myown expectations for myself and what I am capable of and what my strengths are, I have been pointing it toward somebody else, which has actually made mekind of stunted and it's made me not be able to push past whatever limitingbeliefs I may have had about myself that,...

...honestly, until I started to thinkabout it, I didn't know that this was even something that I wasdealing with. Yeah, so, if anyone's listening, I would encourage youto just take some time and look into yourself and say, are my actionsbecause of somebody else or they because of what I think is truly right?And so what you really have to remember is that you can rely on yourselfwhen it comes to making decisions about your life. You are probably more wisethan you know you are then you think you are, and you have alot of information and you have so many gifts to give. So the waythis is shown up for me is that I have found that once I wasI able to identify that I wasn't really taking action based on myself, Iwas taking action based on other people, doors started opening for me. Itwas really interesting. I don't know if this is the law of attraction ormanifesting my greatest desires or the universe or God or whatever, but as Istarted to shipway at these things that were holding me back, doors started openingand it was clear. It wasn't like Oh, maybe, oh, shoot, maybe that was a little door that opened. No doors are flying open. So it's been very cool. And so what I've been personally doing isjust looking into my shadow, you know, and seeing these shadow things, thenegative things, and trying to pull those out, make those an assetto myself and use them, the things that I was trying to hide before. I use it and I use it to my advantage and it is mademe more creative and it's made me really moving forward and I think, Ithink a lot of people would experience the same thing. I think we justend the episode right there. I mean you just you just nailed it sobeautifully. Cash. I'm just so happy to be married you and connect todo it, yeah, in the room with you. My God. Ifyou guys have experienced anything like what Katie's talking about, please throw it inthe comments. Let us know and we'll discuss it here. Will mention itor if you don't want to be mentioned, to say it, just sell usthe is. Don't mention my name. Will just bring it up because welove shared wisdom. We love your wisdom. So so the first thingwe're talking about is honoring your gifts, sort to beat imposter syndrome and haveyour best self come to the table. Whether again, you're just on thebench and you're just getting going, you're looking at jumping into a brand newlife, or you've already achieved some incredible stuff but you want to take yourlife to that next level, but you're hesitating, you're holding back. Ouradvice right now, first one is on your gifts. Find that special sauce, that special thing that makes you you, because no one else can compete withyou on that level. Own that, hold that in and give it somesome good energy and to let the old ideas about yourself go. There'ssome stuff that's on the unconscious level that...

...you're holding you back and when yourealize it's not because all the thing about I'm hosture, it's all about otherpeople, Oh, other I'm comparements with yeah, but it's sometimes it's youversus you. That's what the real game is about, that's what the innergame is about. So that's some of the first advice. We've got atwo more. This one, this one for me as a recovering perfectionist,this one made a huge difference for me because I sat there on the benchfor so many years looking at other people winning going. Do I have whatit takes? Should I even jump into the arena? I don't have asmany degrees, I don't have as many followers, I don't have as manyanything. What I realize is that you can serve at your level if youhave achieved something and you have what are going to come to what you've alreadyachieved in just a minute here everyone below you, you can serve them.So if you're at level too, you can serve everyone at level one andlevel zero. If you're at level five, could yeah, maybe you're not atlevel ten, where you want to be, but you are at levelfive, you can serve everyone at level four, hundred and thirty, two, one and zero. You have so much to give. Don't wait togive that thing that you're here to give. So that's one of the things wewant to make sure that we want a highlight. There is another reason, other way that you can overcome this self doubt, this comparison syndrome orimposter syndrome, is your called. You want to add anything to that idea? Well, I think that's so good, and the only thing I want toadd is that show up wherever you're doing, whatever level you're at,show up and do your best and bring your special gifts. I don't careif you are entry level, sorting the mail, putting the carts away.Bring your gift to it, because you are going to positively impact everybody aroundyou and that's only going to be good for you. Yes, I hopeyou guys feel in this episode. I hope you feel this episode. I'mfeeling good, like I don't if all the things we could have done ona Sunday. Hey, kids, kids sleeping in bed. I hope dogate a very expensive tree, if you know you were talking about you justjoining us live. We mentioned are of them, dog eight of tree,their expensive Chappie and number three. We want to talk about one other majorthing here to help you guys overcoming pastor cender. Thank you for hanging withus up until this part of the video. This is something and it's an exercisethat we want to recommend for you guys, if it any any partof you that's hesitating on that next level, if it's holding back in any wayyour giftedness, in your greatness, that you're here. What again,whether you're getting started or you want to take life in your business to thenext level. This is a big one. It's about honoring your accomplishments. Andhere's the exercise we want to offer you, guys, and we actuallydo this as part of our eliminate program Nott to overly pitch illuminate. Iknow it's not even here yet. We're still working on but one of theexercises that one of the things we conversations...

...we have is it's a look back. It's like kind of a last year's inventory on your life, not justwhere are you now, but where you coming from, what's behind you,in a celebratory way, because often we just don't get ourselves enough credit.We don't give ourselves enough credit for all the great things we've done. We'reall in so many of us are saying, well, yeah, it'll be,will be, I'll call it great when I get to this level,when I have this much money in the bank, like we're just holding backa good old pat on the back for ourselves. So honoring your accomplishments,and I'll just I'll start here with the simple thing and just to Prac thiswhat we preach here's something I'm personally proud of that I've achieved or the pastlet's say two years. I'm not going to go back five or anything,but over the past two years I have set goals and achieve them, assmall as they may seem, of breaking through personal doubts, breaking through securies. I've seen myself of the past two years do more brave, bold stuffthan I've ever seen myself do and I have to give myself a good oldhead on the back for that. And have I reached my large scale goals? Not yet, but I am climbing that mountain, I am on theway and I'm proud of every step. So we're in the space of personalpride and personal conference. There's no room for comparison there, there's no roomfor self doubt there, because I'm too busy feeling good about all the stepsthat I'm taking to get where I'm going. But you know, or to getthat, you have to begin by knowledging what you have done instead ofhyper focusing what you have yet to do or accomplish. Right, and there'sanother way to look at this too, as if you maybe you've spent thelast year super struggling and you feel like you're failing constantly. But the personwho gets back up and tries over and over and over again, is sostrong to compared to somebody who maybe just tick through all the stuff no problem. Yeah, like you know. I'm thinking of somebody who might have avery, very large health will lose a hundred pounds like that can seem somewhatinsurmountable. And you know as success weight losses, you know up and downand up and down. But it's that person who keeps trying and never givesup that is just becoming stronger. And that's called contending. And if youcan keep contending to reach your goal, just keep moving forward and you justgetting closer and closer and closer. So when we're talking about looking back onyour accomplishments, think about that. Even if you feel like, Oh,I haven't accomplished anything, you really have. You know, as long as you'redoing something, even if you are massively, massively struggling with something,but let's say you finally identified it and you finally admitted to yourself I amstruggling with this, that's an accomplishment. Yes, Kay's pause there for aminute. MIMM IT midnute there I can to mivinite it. Just the acknowledgementof those limited limiting beliefs limiting actions,...

...living mindsets or stinking thinking. He's, we like to call it here, at the pursuit of yeah, eventhat is a victory and something worth celebrating. So today has been about living yourbold life, and it begins with breaking through and overcoming some of thethings that stopping you. And one of the big things that we've been talkedabout use imposter syndrome and how to get past that and pursue the life,even the next level of yourself, your health, Your Business, that youcan do, you should do, and we're going to lean a little further. You must do it because the world needs that little that special gift thatyou that you have. The world important, the world needs everybody to be movingforward on this. Imagine if we were all thinking in this way,because we're not. Our world is in a it's it's in a place righta place right now, and just the amount of conflict and discord, andyou know all of that. But if we were really all working on beingour best and doing our best and using our gifts, I think that wewould be heading in a really good direction. Absolutely so, if you guys wantmore encouraging messages like this. You know, make sure to hit thatlike button. We always helps us with the channel. Subscribe the Channel ifyou want to be note of head every single time ago life. You don'tmiss any of this and obviously, if you want, if you're watching onYoutube, pit that bell to make sure that you get those notifications. Solisten. Thank you, guys, for tuning in fronother episode and until wesee again, may the fire within lead a happiest heights and the road youtravel be lined with light. There it is. Thank you, guys somuch. We'll see you on the next episode. Cheers, cheers,.

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