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THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 21 · 1 year ago

How Living in the PRESENT Helps You Achieve Your FUTURE Goals

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's LIVE episode we discuss the popular idea of living in the PRESENT moment, and if it even fits in with your goals of achievement for the FUTURE. 

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#thepursuit #livinginthemoment #successmindset #chasingdreams #designyourfuture #stressrelief #problemsolvers #bestself #liveyourbestlife #patrickkerwin #katiekerwin

Hey go getters, welcome back to our episode of the pursuit and our Sunday sit down where we go live every week to discuss the big ideas you need to grow yourself, your business and your impact. Hey, I'm Patrick and I'm Katie. Listen, we got a big one here for you today. We were discussing over the week, doing everything we're doing, about this idea of we're hearing some lot of buzz around the Internet and everything going on around. Hey, listen, you gotta live in the present moment. You gotta live in the moment, you gotta be here, right where it's happening. And and we were thinking, how is that in juxtaposition or is that any conflict with what we often focus on about creating a vision and going after your future goals, and how does all that come together? So, if that's an interesting topic and you want to be sure to stay connected topics just like this, make sure to hit the like button, subscribe follow us every time where you're watching this, and obviously from youtube pit that belt you know if I have any future content. So, Katie, what's the how we gonna navigate this whole space today? Well, so, I was, as usual, reading this book? You reading a book? Yeah, I had, and so the book that I was reading this week. I'll show you because I brought it down right. It's called power versus force, the hidden determinants of human behavior by David Hawkins, MD PhD. Very impressive, lots of titles. That's a type. Okay, so this book is very dense and I can get through like five pages at a time. I'm serious. So, but one of the things that this guy's talking about is he so he was a psychiatrist and a medical doctor who was helping people who were super, super suffering. And what he did, but I mean this is the very short idea because I'm not really even that far into the book. But what he has done, he has helped people live in the present moment and set up being stuck in their past or being like super worried and having such high anxiety about the future, and that living in the present basically cures all their problems. That's what I'm getting from this. It's a cool what an idea it's. So it's an idea. It's an idea worth exploring to see if through truth there. Yes, so he says this thing just to tea this up a little more. I'm confused. Yeah, so I'm here today to explain a couple things about why I'm confused. Okay, so listen. Listen here. It is okay, all right, fixing an internet thing right now. So he's he says, for it's only the illusion of Indo individuality that is the origin of all suffering, individuality being the self. When one realized this, when one realizes that one is the universe complete and that one, with all that, is forever without end, then no future suffering is possible. What this is suggesting is that losing your grip on your personal personal self, the EGO, MMM, and recognizing that we are all together and you are all few, are full just as you are, that's going to cure your suffering. And this idea came up again to me. I was listening to a podcast again, as usual, reading a book and listening to a pod. Hey, we'll go, get us sound new, and the the guests on the podcast was this woman the inmed firing, Katie, and so she tells this story about how she was just dead on the floor, depressed, a Goraphobic, addicted to food, addicted to alcohol, addicted to drugs and so she's like forty three and a mother of three. At the time. She's basically just catatonic on the ground and she's she's sleeping, and she wakes up one day because a cockroach has run over her foot. Sounds, yes, sounds lovely, and it slightly wakes her up and she realizes that...

...she has the sense that she is nothing, she has no self, she has no identity, and that wakes her up to the fact that she is not herself. Are you confused? Okay, so these two, these this I know. I Know Byron Katie and I know her work, literally the work, so I appreciate her. She seems excellent. But this is an idea about how releasing your ego and releasing your grip on who it is to be, the self or the or the EGO, and letting go of the visions of who you are who, excuse me, who you are in the future, as well as who you think you are in the past, living in both the past and the future instead of the present moment, which is the cause of all suffering. So I have to I have to pause there for a moment and I have to give you some roaring applause for probably confusing, mostly a most people, including me, with that. But that's actually the purpose and reason we're talking about this, because this whole landscape can be extraordinarily confusing. There's lots of lingo and words in this spiritual personal development space of the ego in the present moment and and we went we really want to drill down to today is this guy's will any of this stuff help you achieve your goals? Will any of this living in the present moment and non self or relinquishing your ego, all the stuff we hear from the spiritual space, or the woo space, where you want call it, is any of that Real, real talk? Is that going to help you achieve your goals, your dreams and bring your life closer to where you want it to be? And that's we want to have a dialog on it. So I just hold it. Just a little more background. So let's talk about Patrick for a minute. What's right, let's talk about me, just so you know. Yeah, you, I think, are a great person to speak on this topic. Yes, if you didn't know, Patrick has a master's degree in CLINEL's clinical psychology, I'm fancying, and his area of focus was always based on happiness and he has a huge background studying for over a decade of lots of spiritual practices, Buddhism, other psychologists, that Tation, meditation and all of that. And if you if you didn't know those, you have spiritual practices are often focused very much on living in the present. So when I have these questions, I thought Hu. Luckily his my husband and he lives with me. Yeah, and he seems to be an expert on this topic. So the question, like you were saying, the question is how do we balance living in the present moment and sort of easing up on our ego when we are working together to help people set goals and achieve them, and all those things happen in the future. So how can we balance focusing on the future while still living in the present? Yeah, and that's one of the the challenges that we wanted to call out today, is that they seem to be fighting each other. Seemed to be completely juxtaposed to each other, and it's like, well, if I'm living in the so here's the kind of the the the skeptic on this. I just played devil's advocate. If I'm in the past, I can't create my future. From my past. The past is dead, all right, let that the dead past bury. It's dead and it's gone. We can't get it back. This moment is right now, right here, like it's literally as we're creating this, like in the story of my life it says and Patrick Katie were sitting there and then Patrick started talking. He moved his hand from left to the right. He's like it's happening, it's being written right now, in this living moment. And then there's this beautiful future that awaits. That's not going to come by itself, and I think a lot of you watching my agree with that. In fact, if you do, you know, jump into the comments, let us know what your thoughts are in this, because we want this to be a discussion, not just us kind of talking at you, and we always respond to all comments, by the way. So then, how do we? So how do we do this? How do we navigate? So we've got a couple different major things we want to talk about, some some different aspects of some topics we want explore. So where should we begin...

...with this, Katie, given Adia is and you, we're getting a scoop gear around. We're going to the deep end here. You know, the first thing that comes to mind is something that keeps me from living in the present is my worry about the future. Okay, well, well, let's pause their home. Can you say that one more time? I think that's a that's a big one. One of the main things that I struggle that keeps me from living in the present is worrying about the future. For example, if I have some some kind of meeting or something coming up, I could be sitting here with you or having dinner with my kids or reading a book to my kid, you know, and a very enjoyable so try to be in the moment type of situation, and my mind is living on Tuesday and I'm already there and I'm already having a fight. Yeah, and I'm already I'm already creating. What's that person seeing back to me? So a future worry is something that I think is worth exploring and it definitely keeps us from living in the present. Yes, so let's start off with that concept. So I'm going to skip to the end of the story and then we'll kind of work our way backwards a little bit. So I have my fancy notes here and I'm going to read a quote to you. Okay. This one's from Mr Sren kicker guard. If you have no idea who kicker guard is, he's a Swedish philosopher from like sweeten, sweeten, long time ago. Here's the quote. Dig into this one ready. This is gold. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards, and I think there's I love this for two main reasons. One it, it kind of cuts right through it, is that we need our past. We need there's so many gold nuggets and WIZOM. There's wisdom in our past and if we go forward without that was in the pastor when they the same mistakes, we're going to make the same errors. We're going to be stuck in the same hands we've done for years and years and years, because all that beautiful insight that we've gained to the bumps and the bruises, in the pain in the struggle to get where we want to be. We've got to bring that with us. We've got to bring it with us. Not What we need. I think we also need to change how we look at the past, because a lot of us use the pass of a club. We're beating ourselves with it and that's not how to wisely, from an awakened perspective, to use the past. We need to see the past as a teacher and extract those main lessons from what we've learned and experience. It's just a wealth of knowledge. So when kickerguards has life must be understood backwards, I wholeheartedly agree with him. Do you want to add anything? Because there's the second part of the quote I want to get to. But you want to add anything to that? So it's one thing. The good part of our past is that we can take our wisdom and use it as a guide for our future. But what we shouldn't do is take our past experiences and decide that they are true for the rest of our lives. So let's say I'm interview I've I'm trying to get a new job. I've interviewed for like three, four, five jobs and I haven't gotten the job. So I might make the conclusion that I can will never get a job because that's what I've learned about my past. But we have to say that's not who I am. I am not I don't get a job, I am just a person who didn't get this job. That doesn't mean there's no job for me in the future, and so I can't it tattooed on my identity. Who I like that phrase. The I just it's just an idea and it's just a thing that happened. So when you said the thing about bearing bearing past in the past, or whatever you said, but the dead past period's dead. It's a quote from poll okay. Put that there. Leave that there and then understand that you are you are not your past, but you know things that you've learned from the past, for example, getting better at interviews every time you did one. So what's the gift that I can get from the past?...

Getting better at interviews. Yeah, what's the thing I can leave in the past? I don't get jobs. Yeah, we need to talking about myself. That I don't want. You. We all have, but I think a lot of people watching right now we've all been through this human experience. So bringing it back to the present, all pun intended. All right. So now we've got this idea that the past is, wisely from awakened perspective, best used not as a club to hurt ourselves, to beat ourselves with or anything like that, but it's just use as as lessons, insights and learning you know, to help navigate our future decisions. So then we come down to future decisions. Okay, so the second part of the quote, and just because I don't want to mess this up, so we life can only beat us to backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Now I love this idea of living it forward. So now we're getting into the future. Now we're getting into what you and I call life by design instead of a life by default. This is where human creativity comes in, this is where innovation comes in, this is where imagining, a deep imagining, envisions and vision state all these goal I mean all you go get us out there. You you know this. You don't need me to tell you that. There is incredible power in the human race, HMM, to create something from scratch. I might even go so far is to say that creativities in our DNA. It's what we're made for. Only humans have this ability to look at something that isn't there and imagine it and create it from scratch. And then we look at this thing that we've made and it's like wow, this was nothing, this was just atoms of potentiality and through will and imagination and action, bold action, and consistently and never giving out. We were the birth this thing into the world and I think that's incredible. So to deny that ability that we have for some like Hey, well, let's not think of the future. Of the future, isn't your less? Just only live. That's I mean, that's where I think the teaching gets wrong. Is Only live in the moment. That's where I think we can maybe misuse this concept of living in the present moment. But you, guys, tell me. Do you agreed? You Disagree? Do you think we're on this something you can completely? I'm like Bage, you don't understand. I can you understand? This is how you need to look at it. Let us know in the comments below. But, Katie, what are you? Do you have any further thoughts on that? Well, you said something really important, and that's living a life by design and stead of a life by default. And I love that so much because it says I don't just let things happen to me, I make things happen. MMM, and I love the idea of making things happen. I love the idea of changing my mindset and changing my skills and making things happen. As a result of that, resolving things from my past and changing my future. Love it and you know, we we we talked a lot about business stuff and success. And if you can do that and you can have that perspective while you are saying you may be moving towards some business goals or whatever you're doing, that is vital by to know that you can make things happen. But you got to believe it and I'll tell you it's true. Yes, so believe me, believe him, believe everybody else, but know that for you it's possible for you to make things happen. Just isn't life just happening to you? You're not just tumbling down a hill. You can take control, yeah, of of your present. You can change things, you can change your habits, you can change your skills, and then that will change the projection of your future. So I guess then, if we can change who we are now in the present by just what we do all the time in the present moment, we are necessarily changing the future. Oh yes, so that's that's really what this comes down to, is will living in the present moment help you achieve your future goals? That's kind of the question, which kind of leaving it out...

...there in the ether, and I'm I'm personally ready to make a conclusion on this, but I think we need to go. It's a little further before we land this plane. And that is what on earth can being in the present moment even do for you? Like we talked about, the past is a great teacher the future, designing a creating, it's so juicy and great. But so why on Earth, and I say this, you know, at playing devil's advocate, why on earth what I want to sit here and this lousy present moment where nothing's being created? I'm just like dwelling in the moment. How is that going to help me be a better person, reach my goals? Live happier, live fuller, you know I'm saying like. So that's where I wanted to leave that. There is just like a lingering question to see what are your what are your thoughts? Are I have I've Dera deep they thoughts. And what are your thoughts? I think that's the wrong attitude, first of all, to have about the Stinkin present document, present more or whatever. You just you know, being present and doing the thing that you're doing is just part of the challenge. First of all, if it is a challenge, to just be in the present moment instead of being stuck in your future, yeah, worries, and being fixated. By learning to be present in in the moment, everything becomes stronger and I think everything becomes easier. Truth. Yes, and so let me just dig into that for a second. The truth, and I'm say this with Capital Tea Truth, your future is yet to be created, as beautiful as you can imagine it. It's not here yet. Your past is gone. So, therefore, the only thing that actually has any life to it is this moment, right here, where you are listening to me, in this present moment. It's live, it's alive right now. This is where your truth is, this is where your inside is, this is where your feelings are, this is where your friends are and the people you love in your life. And if you can access this moment and learn to be in this moment, you're going to find a well spring of emotion and wisdom. And it's the full chait taste of that wine, that's the full taste of that cheese, it's the lovely feeling of a soft s by the way, I really like this, the sweater that you're wearing. We Are we are the purple twins. Today we this was unintentional, by the way. For those of you like I, they did they playing their no, we both just showed up in the student I was like, okay, okay, well, here we go this. That's so you've got to find a way to live in the moment while planning your future and honoring your past. So kind of bringing this all kind of full circle here, the wisest thing you can do, and it's three parts for your notes, is to honor the past while living in this beautiful moment and planning your future. That's it's you can't live in all three. It's like, I don't know if you get from a quantum level of you could even do that, but that's the real target we're aiming at. Is You've gotta live here now, in the now where life is actually happening to and while you're here, be making some bold plans for your amazing future. That's the magic. Now, I guess that the real question is, well, that's that sounds great, Patrick, Katie, lovely poetry. How do we do that? Because that sounds like not maybe the easiest magic trick to pull off. There's, like you said earlier, my hey that's not where my brain is. My brain is in on my I'm already in Tuesday, I'm already in the three weeks from now. I'm already into the...

...common section of this video. What are you people are roasting us for doing this spiritual stuff wrong. You know, you know, you don't. You never know. So I'm just going to pivot to you on this. You know, hit the ball back in your court and again for any of you guys watching now or the recorded video, what is the challenge with this and what can we do to, practically speaking, live here and be pioneering and designing and creating our future? Well, I think you need to practice doing it. Oh there it is that p word and it is sectics, because have you ever been trying to be in the present and your mind is darting? It's darting to what's happening in the future or it's darting about this thing that happened by some sometimes will say, Oh, I'm a little worried about this thing that happened in first grade and like what's happen back and that can happen. It's real. That happens, that happens all of us. So, but if we we work on it and if we work on being in the present moment and practice more, that's how we get better at it. And then, I know that sounds like I just practice, just whatever, just practice, but you can do this in a lot of things that you're doing. You can try to do a short meditation where you decide that you're going to sit here in the present moment. You're going to think about what am I doing right now? I'm breathing, I'm sitting and this is what I'm doing right now. My mind wanders, just bring it back to where we're sitting. I am not a meditation expert, but I like to practice right that's the best thing I can do. So just continue to practice it. HMM, and doing doing everything, even if it's something that sucks, like doing the dishes. Be there, do the dishes, try it. You don't have to just be sitting in meditation. You can do something mundane as well and just practice doing it. Some people say everything is my meditation making my bed, doing the dishes, vacuuming, everything is my meditation practice. So I'll leave you guys with with this tip. This is in all my years of study and practice and teaching on this topic. I'll leave you with this. The greatest thing that will always bring you back to this moment, and I've tried them all, I made them all, I've tried a lot. The greatest thing that you can have to bring you into this moment where life is to connect you to your spirituality, to connect you to your the people in the room and the moment with you, to connect you to the incredible imagination you have and the giftness you have to create that amazing future yourself. Is something you have with you all the time and it never leaves you until you die, and that is your breath. It's with you all the time. So if you willing to do this, and this lacks last minute of this video, here's just something we can do together. You want to do this with me, let's just do it alive. Okay, I want you, guys, just dial in what's going on right here. Okay, you're you're all like a bird in a tree. We're always out there in flight, but we got to come back home to the nest. Can want to come back home? Bring it, bring it on in, and I want you just notice the rise in your chest. Connect, connect to that feeling you're getting into the actual feeling of life here, okay, and as you rise and as you fall in your breath, I just want to ask you one simple question. Is their tension? Are you're breathing easy? Are you breathing shallow? Here's here's the thing I want you to understand. It's super incredible in power for you. You're ready lean in on this one with me. Your body's not going to lie to you. Your mind will lie to you. It will tell you all kinds of things. Your body will not lie to you. You can trust it. If your tense, it will show you that your tents if you're open, it will show you that you're open. So when you're coming to these kinds of practices, you have to begin with that understanding. My mind can tell me all kinds of things. My Body will always tell me the truth. So if you learn...

...to trust your body, it will show you where pain is or struggle is. It will show you your tension is right and what you're holding on to, maybe even where you're holding on to. If you want to. We get like super deep, but that's the beginning of being in the present moment is one the practice of bringing you there and too, and this one's probably equally is important to the practice is the willingness and desire to be here in this moment. You have to develop, as one of my great teacher, pain of Chodor, said, an appetite for life as it fundamentally is. You have to develop this appetite to want to connect to what's true and what is real for you and not run from it. Because if we see, I said to you many maytimes, would you run from runs you and when you stop running, it can't run you anymore. And that run, that stopping, that pausing, that breathing, that is the practice that we're talking about to bring you in. So if you can learn to connect to this living moment, we believe is that it actually will serve you to find truth, to find your gifts, to find your strengths, which will then help you design that beautiful future that you know awaits you on the other end of your effort, in your focus, and we are here to help you do that. So any few further thoughts, any closing thoughts on this? So this you can't get it wrong. This is a practice and it's not about doing it right or doing it wrong, and I think that that people who are experts, and I am obviously not an expert, they would say that this is a lifetime practice. Truth, you don't practice until you nail it. It's a lifetime practice. So if you've heard anything on this podst cast or whatever we're doing today on this podcast, if you've heard anything on this live video stream today and it seems like a little overwhelming, just just take a little tip, take a little taste of it, just take a little step, do one thing, try it out and just know there's no perfection in even if there was perfection, you're never going to get there. No one's ever gonna meet the standard of perfection. So just take a little take a little practice, take a little step. There is dropping some truth bombs on today's episode. We had our coffee already, all right, listen. Thank you, guys for tuning in for another episode of the pursuit Sunday sit down. Addition, we look forward to you guys in next show, but until we do, may the fire within be the happiest heights and the road you travel level be blind. But we're looking, I we're so you guys know it already. She were working on her and I was like a plank's a plank page. It's because you weren't in a living moment. I guess not. I was. I was worried about that. I forgot the line perfectly described. Our guys will see in the next one.

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