Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin
THE PURSUIT - with Patrick Kerwin

Episode 17 · 1 year ago

How to Build Unshakable CONFIDENCE, overcome resistance, and become the person you're proud of.

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's LIVE episode we discuss how the key to personal confidence is seeing yourself take ACTION in the places you've been holding back.


Okay, I've had so many people text me at the met are. Do you know that you're live right now, like you just here at the screen of like well, the topic today is building and shakable confidence. So how do you completely mess up while you're life, life and it is bounce back and get right into it. Hey, everyone, my name is Patrick Carwhen. Good to see you. We're got an incredible episode here for you today. So, whether you're watching live on now, we're today, by the way, we finally broke through and Linkedin. These are finally posting on Linkedin. So, if you are watching on Linkedin, hello. If you're listening to our PODCAST, however, you're listening to this right now. We are live on Youtube, facebook, twitter and now, officiy, linkedin. Welcome to today. Takes all about building unshakable confidence and how can you find that strength, that power within yourself, no matter what you have, whatever challenges...

...you have in front of you, whether it's something you're trying to do right now, work on a personal goal with it's a health goal, business goal, relationship goal, whatever you got going, there's going to be some resistance, there's going to be some challenge in your way, and today's all about how to tackle and overcome those things by building yourself up from the inside out. So let's get into this. I'm going to give you guys a quick overview of what we're talking about, but first I want to get into this on a deeply personal level. So I know personally from myself that there are some things I've tried to do in my life. Now, whether you want to call up acrastination, today our words can be calling it resistance. There's one part of us that's pushing US forward, another part of us that's pushing us, pulling us back, and it's that struggle between the two the causes us a lot of personal heartache, emotional heartache, mental strain, even spiritual stress, as we don't and we aren't seeing ourselves becoming this person that we're...

...ultimate me proud of. There's moments we lay our head and our pillow at night and we think to ourselves, I was just busy today, but I get anything done. I don't know if I moved it the needle forward. I don't know if I really lived it today. And then there's other days where we put our hand our Penell at night and we think, man, I really crushed it what if we could have more of those days. Today's about helping you create more of those kinds of days or to have that. We have to talk about resistance itself. We have talked about procrastinates, we have talked about some of these challenges and rocks in front of us and how to overcome those blocks. Let's look at it from three different perspectives. Okay, perspective number one and what I hope you guys do as we're watching this. I want you to think of yourself and I hope that you just identify where your resistance usually is, and then we'll at the end we'll talk about some things you can do to turn around. So the very first type of resistance is mental resistance. This is where we have some challenges in our mindset,...

...right we got some stinkin thinking, we got some stuff going on. Here's a couple of ideas to how to know if mental resistance is one of Cat's kind of your big thing. Okay, when you imagine something you need to do and you tell yourself or you imagine, you picture it as too hard, too big, too much, you sociated with certain mental labels like that's good, that's bad. You can view as something as bland and boring, or you can view it as extremely exciting, what a great challenge or front of us. Back last week we talked about how one of the core motivators is seeing something as a challenge and that could be the thing that gets you up, get you going. Now, more than just that, I want to give you, guys, a kind of a little formula here. So here's the simple formula. Follow me here. Picture what you're picturing of this thing that you want to see yourself do that you're not doing ready. If the head doesn't believe it and if the heart doesn't feel it, the...

...hands aren't going to do it. Won't give me some more time. If the head doesn't believe it in the heart doesn't feel at the hands, my friends, they're just not going to do it. So if you're not seeing yourself do it, let's trace that back and what we might be going on here and what might be going on here, and at the end we'll kind of come back with some tips and things you can do. So that's that first part. Is that mental resistance, that way that you're thinking about it. So it just this first blushed maybe what you need to do. It's just change how you're thinking about it. Maybe that's the first thing for you to do. Okay, we talk about mental resistance. Let's talk about part of the big one for a lot of people is emotional resistance. Okay, this is where you're thinking yourself. I'm avoiding taking action, which is kind of the classic definition of procrastination. There's an avoidance of doing the thing. Now we take action because we're excited and we also hold back because, and maybe this is you, a fear of embarrassment. What if I fail, if it doesn't work out? Maybe it's a challenge of starting something. Or...

...maybe what you're holding back on, resisting round is actually finishing it, because once it's finished, then it's out there and it's going to be critiqued, people are going to see it. You know I'm talking about. Okay, maybe that's you, maybe it's not you, but when the heart doesn't feel it, we shut down. Some part of our greatness just kind of shrinks inside of us. And if that's the kind of the routine, the ritual that even going on, I do want to pause on this particular note. For me, and I hope you're feeling me on this one, the challenge isn't procrastination. The challenge isn't resistance. The real struggle, the real danger is that what we practice we become. So if we practice procrastination, we become a procrastinator. If we practice holding back, if we practice dodging, denying, avoiding, we become the kind of person that does those things more...

...habitually, more automatically, and I don't want to see that happen to you. I don't see that to have me. I wouldn't want to see that happen to anyone that I know that they're slowly but surely becoming some that they're not proud of through the actions they do or the inactions that they see themselves do. But the good news there's there's a way to completely turn that around. But let's do one more. Okay, on these three. Let's go with the Third Way or style that a lot of us tend to procrastinate, not just mental resistance or emotional resistance. There's one more that and it I just want to think my wife, Katie, for bringing this one out. It's just environmental challenges. Listen, I mean, I'm a parent, I got two littles running around the house. They demand my attention, even there's something I want to be doing, they're like, nope, you got to do this thing. They're running their scream and do all this stuff. And it's not just, you know, kids bad. It's like parents care.

We Care, we love our kids. We there's certain environmental situations that are just not prone to productivity. They're not prone to for us being able to take action on something. So even if we have the right mindset, like I really want to get this thing done, and get the right heart set like yeah, let's get out there, let's do it, I'm ready green light emotions, there could be an environmental challenge. That's that's making it very challenging. So part of our resistance or part of our crastination isn't something just in here. We have to acknowledge to some things going on in our environment, not whether you see this in an individual level or business team level. Sometimes the greatest things you can do to power yourself and build that confidence in yourself so you can do the things that you ult to want to do is to make some sort of massive change in your environment. Whether that's going to bed earlier. You with me? Yeah, yeah, you up late people, yeah, talks this self. We got to get the bed earlier so we have the energy in the sleep ready to go do those things. So all, when you put all this together, going back to that simple formula, if the head believes it and the half feels at the hands in faith,...

...they will do it. You're capable of it. The thing about confidences is that when you don't see yourself, it's been three days, three weeks, three months of not seeing yourself take action on the things that you've committed in yourself, when you've seen yourself time and time again lay in your head, on your pillow at night and this not have that feeling that, man, I really lived it today. You get too many of those in a row and it starts to whittle down on your confidence, starts to suck out that your juice right. So today's really about how to gain that back, how to take back that kind of level of confidence in yourself. And the key, and I hope you hear me on this, I'm leaning on this one, the key is to take action. You just gotta do it. You got to find a way, engineer way, tune the environment, tune your thinking, tune what's going on in here so that you see yourself, move and act, because it's action that builds confidence. When you see where...

...there's a space where you could take action, you don't drains confidence. When you see an area where you know you could be taking action and you do builds confidence. So everything today is about that. Let me give you as just a few tips. Really I want to send you off in your week as you and leave Sunday and moving to Monday, I want to really just give you, guys, some things that you can do practically to make some changes so that you are set up for success. Number one, we have to begin this idea that focus is power. When we are distracted, when we have diluted focus, we get diluted results. So the first question is, what can you do to gain back focus in your life? If that thing you were thinking of, get a productivity planner or do that. Get you sticky notes or Mark Your Mirror, whatever you thinking, you could be doing it that you're not. Do that thing. It's going to help you gain back your focus. Well, there it's well, Patrick, I heard that if I schedule stuff on my calendar, helps are scheduling stuff on your calendar. Well, no, do that thing and see the change it happens...

...in your personal focus, where that's minimizing distractions or enhancing your focus, whatever you can do. That's the first one. Focus is power. Number two. We make our habits in our habits make us, and I don't want to see you go down a road, a path that has you slowly but surely becoming this person that you're not proud of. In order to turn that around, and we have to start doing the things and getting ourselves to do the things that bring us confidence and joy and greatness. I'll give you a keen example. I'm at the gym mid morning and I'm passing by the treadmills. not really a fan of running. I just feel like I'm just going nowhere fast. So I have some resistance around the treadmills right. Also have some resistance around leg day, but let's say that's a complete of a topic. What's up by that different time? But I I was thinking about you guys today and I was thinking about procrastination and resistance and overcoming and I said, you know what it's going to do it I don't feel like jump on on...

...this treadmill. Right now. In fact, I'm really don't want to, but I know it's good for me. It's to help me build up my cardio, so I'm just gonna do it. Here's the thing. The moment I hit starting on that treadmill and started running, I started feeling good about myself. I just overcame something that I just was telling myself. I stopped my mind in my tracks. My mind was going to some negative places. My heart wasn't feeling it. I just did it anyway. And as I was on there and I was sweating and I was going, I was like wow, even though I'm at the level that I thought I was at before, because you know it's been month since I've been on a treadmill, I'm like, I'm just happy about myself that I'm doing it. That's what I want for you guys. Just be happy in yourself that you did the thing that you didn't think you could do. That's how you build personal confidence, day by day, minute by minute, action by action. So as we move forward to these things, we have to learn how to get those new habits. It's going that ultimately build ourselves is confident, and so really just kind of take action. You just got to get going, and here's some...

...things you can do to help yourself take action. I'll leave you guys with these thoughts. A couple of tips I've gotten from the religature. I was doing a dunk last couple days on procrastination and overcoming resistance and stuff like that. Here's a couple things I found in a practice that have really worked for me. One is in terms of the mindset. How do you conquer what's going on here if you're picturing it in a way that is challenging, like the elephants? You're making it so big. Oh my God, I don't want to tackle that project at work. I don't want to do this thing in my house. I don't want to have this hard conversation. You're making it giant in your mind. Shrink it, just shrink a little bit, make a little smaller. I've got to lose fifty pounds. Well, let's not talk about fifty, let's talk about five. Let's just shrink it up, make it something you can actually chew on and start to move on. I want to start doing fifty push up. Let's talk about fifty. It's about five pushups and a few five let's talk about another five and other five, and there's you just got to make it small, shrink it up. That's the first thing to and I've heard this one from Mel Robbins, great one. She talks about five four three, two, one go. When...

...you're in bed you don't want to get up, the great way to start building your confidence, to see yourself take action is eve you don't feel like it, just do a countdown, adds at launch. I'm going to launch out of this bed. Five four, three, two one, and then just put your feet on the ground. That's another thing. You do a little mental mind hack, whatever you want to call it. And last you can do if you're feeling a lot of emotional resistance, like the resists you. I Patrick, I can feel it. It's here. I don't know what it is, but it to some stuff going on here. My invitation used to take a piece of paper. That's a kind of my always advice. It's just in her coach. Hey, let's get a piece of paper out and I want you just write out voice, out some things you're afraid of, concerned of. What give resistance of voice honored enough to write out what it's saying to you and allow that step to move on to the next step and next set. Before you know it you've resolved a lot of the tensions going on inside yourself. So kind of a big topic. How do you tackle the entire topic of procrastination? You can't in one go, but...

I hope that what you heard today, I'm a circle back on it. If the mind will believe it and if the heart will feel it, the hands will do it. And I believe that you guys, and I know that you guys, can do this and it's going to ultimate build your confidence, slowly but surely, every day, until you're the person that you're proud of. So thanks for tuning in from the episode of the pursuit. I hope today find you well and to it again. May the fire within lea the happiest heights and the road you travel belined with lights. We'll see it next time.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (27)